PATIENCE/ਧੀਰਜੁ/ਸਬਰ

ABSTRACT

Patience means not easily getting angry or not showing anger in situations of human communication where the other person is unreasonable. It is commonly referred to as a virtue, and is the capacity of enduring hardship or inconvenience, emphasizes calmness, self-control, and the willingness or ability to tolerate delay. Its opposite is weakness. Let your sense of humor give you balance, perspective, poise, and patience.

ਮਹਿਮਾ ਜਾ ਕੀ ਗਹਿਰ ਗੰਭੀਰ ॥
ਹੋਇ ਨਿਹਾਲੁ ਦੇਇ ਜਿਸੁ ਧੀਰ ॥
ਜਾ ਕੇ ਬੰਧਨ ਕਾਟੇ ਰਾਇ ॥
ਸੋ ਨਰੁ ਬਹੁਰਿ ਨ ਜੋਨੀ ਪਾਇ ॥੨॥
Mahimaa Jaa Kee Gahir Gambheer, Hoey Nihaal Da-ay Jis Dheer. Jā ke banḏẖan kāte rā▫e.So nar bahur na jonī pā▫e. 

Immortal God’s Glory is profound and unfathomable. Whom so ever It blesses with patience becomes blissful. One whose bonds are shattered by the Sovereign God is not cast into the womb of reincarnation again. -----Guru Arjun, Raag Ramkali, AGGS, Page, 887-7  

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I supplicated to God to bless me with patience, but was denied that; “It is not granted but learned.” Patience is repression, forbearance, both in mundane and spiritual things. Patience refers to bearing insult and distress without resentment and is one of the 10 eastern perfections. You must first have a lot of patience to learn to have patience.  One should have patience with all things but most important is with oneself.  One should not lose courage in considering your own imperfections but deal them one by one at a time. With love and patience, nothing is impossible and Guru Nanak has put it right in his Japji;

ਜਤੁ ਪਾਹਾਰਾ ਧੀਰਜੁ ਸੁਨਿਆਰੁ ॥

ਅਹਰਣਿ ਮਤਿ ਵੇਦੁ ਹਥੀਆਰੁ ॥

ਭਉ ਖਲਾ ਅਗਨਿ ਤਪ ਤਾਉ ॥

ਭਾਂਡਾ ਭਾਉ ਅੰਮ੍ਰਿਤੁ ਤਿਤੁ ਢਾਲਿ ॥

ਘੜੀਐ ਸਬਦੁ ਸਚੀ ਟਕਸਾਲ ॥

ਜਿਨ ਕਉ ਨਦਰਿ ਕਰਮੁ ਤਿਨ ਕਾਰ ॥

ਨਦਰੀ ਨਦਰਿ ਨਿਹਾਲ ॥

Jaṯ pāhārā ḏẖīraj suni▫ār. Ahraṇ maṯ veḏ hathī▫ār. Bẖa▫o kẖalā agan ṯap ṯā▫o. Bẖāʼndā bẖā▫o amriṯ ṯiṯ dẖāl. Gẖaṛī▫ai sabaḏ sacẖī taksāl. Jin ka▫o naḏar karam ṯin kār. Nānak naḏrī naḏar nihāl.

Let self-control be the furnace, patience the goldsmith. Let the understanding the anvil, spiritual wisdom the tools, God’s fear as bellows, austerity the heat and fire; loving devotion the crucible, and forge the Immortal Essence of Nectar. In such a mint shape the holy word. This fulfillment comes to those blessed with Divine Grace. Blessed are those who get the Divine Gracious Glance Says Nanak.-----Guru Nanak, Japji, AGGS, Page, 8-8

Humility is attentive patience. Patience itself is bitter but its fruit is sweet and is accompanied by wisdom. It is the best remedy for every trouble. Combined with faith and diligence, it can move mountains. It is learned with acceptance and faith. Learn the art of patience by applying the spiritual discipline to your thoughts when they become anxious over the outcome of a goal. Impatience breeds anxiety, fear, discouragement, and failure. Patience creates confidence, decisiveness, and a        rational outlook, which eventually leads to success. All things come to him who waits - provided he knows what he is waiting for.  Our patience will achieve more than our force. They also serve who only stand and wait. 

The Lord is good unto them who wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him.-----Lamentations (Ch. III, v. 25)

The patience of perseverance keeps us from succumbing to doubt, discouragement and fear.-----Buddha

Seek Allah's help with patience and prayer though it is hard for all but for those humble in spirit.-----Quran-Surah- II, 45

One moment of patience may ward off great disaster and a moment of impatience may ruin a whole life. Patience and perseverance have a magical effect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish.  Patience does not crimp the flow of events. Patience accepts and tolerates the different ways we each have of seeing and acting in life. Patience and tolerance accept differences with remaining peaceful recognizing that each one of us has the right to determine our reality. They arise in us from our relaxed state of mind. There is no greater penance than patience, no greater happiness than contentment, no greater evil than greed, no greater virtue than mercy, and no potent weapon than forgiveness. Guru Arjun describes about these virtues in Raag Maru:

ਸਹਨ ਸੀਲ ਪਵਨ ਅਰੁ ਪਾਣੀ ਬਸੁਧਾ ਖਿਮਾ ਨਿਭਰਾਤੇ ॥

ਪੰਚ ਤਤ ਮਿਲਿ ਭਇਓ ਸੰਜੋਗਾ ਇਨ ਮਹਿ ਕਵਨ ਦੁਰਾਤੇ ॥੨॥

Sehan Seel Pawan Ur Paanee Bsudhaa Khima Nibhrata Pancẖ ṯaṯ mil bẖa▫i▫o sanjogā in mėh kavan ḏurāṯe. 

There is no doubt, that wind and water have patience and tolerance; the earth has compassion and forgiveness. The union of the five elements - has brought you into being. Which of these is evil? -----Guru Arjun, Raag Maru, AGGS, Page, 999-17

To increase your level of patience you need to:

1.      Develop a consistent philosophy of life in your faith. Take life one day at a time. Consider each day a gift of life that will allow you to get one step closer to your goal of growth and change in the company of the holy congregation.

ਧਰਮ ਧੀਰਜ ਸਹਜ ਸੁਖੀਏ ਸਾਧਸੰਗਤਿ ਹਰਿ ਭਜੇ ॥

ਕਰਿ ਅਨੁਗ੍ਰਹੁ ਰਾਖਿ ਲੀਨੇ ਮੋਹ ਮਮਤਾ ਸਭ ਤਜੇ ॥
Dharam Dheeraj Sahj Sukhee-ay SaaDhSangat Har Bhajay, Kar Anoograhu Raakh Leenay Moh Mamtaa Sabh Tajay.

Righteous faith, patience, peace, and poise are obtained by vibrating upon the God in the Company of the Holy. Showering Its Blessings, God saves those who renounce all attachments and egotism.-----Guru Arjun, Raag Asa, AGGS, Page, 460-18

2.      Accept the reality of your humanity in that you are going to need time, effort, and energy to change and grow. You will experience some resistance to altering long-standing, habitual ways of acting, reacting, and believing.

3.      Reframe your perspective on the past, present, and future. Do not dwell on your past mistakes and failings. Do not worry about what you will become or how you will act in the future. Begin to live each new day as a fresh start. Do not dwell in the past; do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.

4.      Break larger goals down into components that are short-term goals and objectives, more realistically attainable in the immediate future.

5.      Be conscious in planning your path to spiritual growth as a wise person.

ਬ੍ਰਹਮ ਗਿਆਨੀ ਕੈ ਧੀਰਜੁ ਏਕ ॥

ਜਿਉ ਬਸੁਧਾ ਕੋਊ ਖੋਦੈ ਕੋਊ ਚੰਦਨ ਲੇਪ ॥

ਬ੍ਰਹਮ ਗਿਆਨੀ ਕਾ ਇਹੈ ਗੁਨਾਉ ॥

ਨਾਨਕ ਜਿਉ ਪਾਵਕ ਕਾ ਸਹਜ ਸੁਭਾਉ ॥

Barahm Gi-aanee Kai Dheeraj Ayk. Ji▫o basuḏẖā ko▫ū kẖoḏai ko▫ū cẖanḏan lep Barahm gi▫ānī kā ihai gunā▫o. Nānak ji▫o pāvak kā sahj subẖā▫o.

The God-conscious being has steady patience, like the earth, which is dug up by one, and anointed with sandal paste by another. This is the quality of the God-conscious being: O Nanak, his inherent nature is like a warming fire.-----Guru Arjun, Raag Gauri, AGGS, Page, 272-13

6.      Accept, understand, and forgive yourself for being fragile, imperfect, and weak. You need to become your own best friend and cheerleader. Love yourself through the Sabd by recognizing the only One God.

ਖਸਮੁ ਪਛਾਣੈ ਆਪਣਾ ਖੂਲੈ ਬੰਧੁ ਨ ਪਾਇ ॥

ਸਬਦਿ ਮਹਲੀ ਖਰਾ ਤੂ ਖਿਮਾ ਸਚੁ ਸੁਖ ਭਾਇ ॥
Khasam Pachhaanai Aapnaa Khoolai BanDh Na Paa-ay, Sabd Mahlee Kharaa Too Khimaa Sach Sukh Bhaa-ay.

One who realizes his God and Master is set free, and not bound by chains. Through the Word of the Sabd, enter the Mansion of God's Presence; you shall be blessed with patience, forgiveness, truth, and peace.-----Guru Nanak, Raag Ramkali, AGGS, Page, 937-6

7.      Wake up to the realities of life around you. Everyone with whom you come in contact is busy working through their own struggles, weaknesses, setbacks, crises, and obstacles to their spiritual growth. All of us are on that path to individual spiritual growth but are at different levels. There is no one exempt from this journey. It may take one or more lifetimes to complete spiritual growth through Naam.

ਧੀਰਜੁ ਜਸੁ ਸੋਭਾ ਤਿਹ ਬਨਿਆ ॥

ਹਰਿ ਹਰਿ ਨਾਮੁ ਸ੍ਰਵਨ ਜਿਹ ਸੁਨਿਆ ॥

ਗੁਰਮੁਖਿ ਜਿਹ ਘਟਿ ਰਹੇ ਸਮਾਈ॥

ਨਾਨਕ ਤਿਹ ਜਨ ਮਿਲੀ ਵਡਾਈ ॥੩੫॥
Dheeraj Jas Sobhaa Tih Bani-aa, Har Har Naam Sarvan Jih Suni-aa Gurmukẖ jih gẖat rahe samā▫ī.Nānak ṯih jan milī vadā▫ī. 

Patience, glory, and honor come to those, who listen to the Name of the God; The Master. That Guru oriented whose heart remains merged with the God, O Nanak, obtains glorious greatness. -----Guru Arjun, Raag Gauri, AGGS, Page, 257-15

8.      Hand over and let go of the worries, concerns, anxieties, and doubts about attaining your goal with patience to God through Its Grace under the guidance of a spiritual Master.

ਕਰਿ ਕਿਰਪਾ ਮੋਹਿ ਸਾਧੁ ਮਿਲਾਇਆ ॥

ਮਨੁ ਤਨੁ ਸੀਤਲੁ ਧੀਰਜੁ ਪਾਇਆ ॥

ਪ੍ਰਭੁ ਅਬਿਨਾਸੀ ਬਸਿਆ ਘਟ ਭੀਤਰਿ ਹਰਿ ਮੰਗਲੁ ਨਾਨਕੁ ਗਾਵੈ ਜੀਉ ॥੪॥੫॥੧੨॥
Kar Kirpaa Mohi SaaDh Milaa-i-aa, Man Tan Seetal Dheeraj Paa-i-aa. Parabẖ abẖināsī basi▫ā gẖat bẖīṯar har mangal Nānak gāvai jī▫o. 

By God’s Mercy, I have met the Holy Saint. My mind and body have been cooled and soothed; I have been blessed with patience and composure. The Immortal God has come to dwell within my heart. Nanak sings the songs of joy to God. -----Guru Arjun, Raag Majh, AGGS, Page, 98-6
                                                                

9.     Confront your fears about attaining your goal. Remember, the world was not created in a day. Beautiful symphonies, works of art, and literary masterpieces were not created in a day. A lifetime is not lived in a day but through patience and forgiveness as explained by Guru Nanak in Raag Ramkali;

ਖਿਮਾ ਵਿਹੂਣੇ ਖਪਿ ਗਏ ਖੂਹਣਿ ਲਖ ਅਸੰਖ ॥

ਗਣਤ ਨ ਆਵੈ ਕਿਉ ਗਣੀ ਖਪਿ ਖਪਿ ਮੁਏ ਬਿਸੰਖ ॥

ਖਸਮੁ ਪਛਾਣੈ ਆਪਣਾ ਖੂਲੈ ਬੰਧੁ ਨ ਪਾਇ ॥

ਸਬਦਿ ਮਹਲੀ ਖਰਾ ਤੂ ਖਿਮਾ ਸਚੁ ਸੁਖ ਭਾਇ ॥ 
Khimaa Vihoonay Khap Ga-ay Khoohan Lakh AsaNkh, Ganat Na Aavai Ki-o Ganee Khap Khap Mu-ay Bisankh. Kẖasam pacẖẖāṇai āpṇā kẖūlai banḏẖ na pā▫e. Sabaḏ mahlī kẖarā ṯū kẖimā sacẖ sukẖ bẖā▫e.

Without patience and forgiveness, countless hundreds of thousands have perished. Their numbers cannot be counted; how could I count them? Bothered and bewildered, uncounted numbers have died. One who realizes his God and Master is set free, and not bound by chains. Through the Word of the Sabd, enter the Mansion of the God's Presence; you shall be blessed with patience, forgiveness, truth, and peace.-----Guru Nanak, Raag Ramkali Dakhni, AGGS, Page, 937-5                                 

The practice of patience toward one another, the overlooking of another's defects, and the bearing of another’s burdens is the most elementary condition of all human and social activity in the family, in the professions, and in society. Sheikh Farid and Bhagat Kabir describe patience in their Slokes very beautifully:

 ਸਬਰ ਮੰਝ ਕਮਾਣ ਏ ਸਬਰੁ ਕਾ ਨੀਹਣੋ ॥
ਸਬਰ ਸੰਦਾ ਬਾਣੁ ਖਾਲਕੁ ਖਤਾ ਨ ਕਰੀ ॥
ਸਬਰ ਅੰਦਰਿ ਸਾਬਰੀ ਤਨੁ ਏਵੈ ਜਾਲੇਨ੍ਹ੍ਹਿ ॥
ਹੋਨਿ ਨਜੀਕਿ ਖੁਦਾਇ ਦੈ ਭੇਤੁ ਨ ਕਿਸੈ ਦੇਨਿ ॥
ਸਬਰੁ ਏਹੁ ਸੁਆਉ ਜੇ ਤੂੰ ਬੰਦਾ ਦਿੜੁ ਕਰਹਿ ॥
ਵਧਿ ਥੀਵਹਿ ਦਰੀਆਉ ਟੁਟਿ ਨ ਥੀਵਹਿ ਵਾਹੜਾ ॥
Sabar Manjh KamaaN A Sabar Ka NeehiNo, Sabar Sanda BaaN Khalak Khtaa Na Karee, Sabar Andar Saabree Tan Ayvai Jaalayn, Hoan Najeek Khudaey Dai Bhayt Na Kisai Dayn, Sabar Ayh Suaao Jay Toon Banda Dirrh Kreh, Vadh Theeveh Daree-aou Toutt Na Theveh Vaahrha.

Make Patience thy bow, patience thy bowstring, patience, thine arrow, and the Creator will not allow thee to miss the mark. With such patience does the patient mortify their bodies; they thus remain near God, but tell their secret to no one. This patience is the main object; if thou O mortal adopt it, thou shalt become a great river and not a separate branch thereof.-----Sloke Sheikh Farid 115,116 &117, AGGS, Page, 1384

ਸੇਖ ਸਬੂਰੀ ਬਾਹਰਾ ਕਿਆ ਹਜ ਕਾਬੇ ਜਾਇ ॥
ਕਬੀਰ ਜਾ ਕੀ ਦਿਲ ਸਾਬਤਿ ਨਹੀ ਤਾ ਕਉ ਕਹਾਂ ਖੁਦਾਇ ॥
Saykh Saboori Baahra Kia Hajj Kaabay Jaa-ey, Kabir Ja Kee Dil Saabat Nhee Ta Kaou Kahan Khudaey.

Why should the Sheikh go to Kaaba for hajj without the quality of patience? Says Kabir, One whose heart is not free from guile shall in no way meet the God?-----Sloke Kabir 185, AGGS, Page, 1374-9 

Bhatt Kal replies in respect of Guru Amar Das:

ਸਤਿ ਸੂਰਉ ਸੀਲਿ ਬਲਵੰਤੁ ਸਤ ਭਾਇ ਸੰਗਤਿ ਸਘਨ ਗਰੂਅ ਮਤਿ ਨਿਰਵੈਰਿ ਲੀਣਾ ॥
ਜਿਸੁ ਧੀਰਜੁ ਧੁਰਿ ਧਵਲੁ ਧੁਜਾ ਸੇਤਿ ਬੈਕੁੰਠ ਬੀਣਾ ॥
Saṯ sūra▫o sīl balvanṯ saṯ bẖā▫e sangaṯ sagẖan garū▫a maṯ nirvair līṇā. Jis Dheeraj Dhur Dhaval Dhujaa Sayt Baikunth Beenaa.

One is the Warrior Hero of Truth, and humility is His Power. His Loving Nature inspires the Congregation with deep and profound understanding; He is absorbed in God, free of hate and vengeance. Patience has been Guru’s white banner since the beginning of time, planted on the bridge to heaven.-----Bard Kal-Sahar, Sawayee-ay Mahalay 3, AGGS, Page, 1393-16                           

Conclusion:

Modify your spiritual perspective to include your God as a guide on the journey of patience. There will be a time when inconsiderate people seem to be getting the best of you. When that happens, you only have to be patient and wait for them to self destruct. It never fails. Patience is the companion of wisdom. Everything comes to him who waits. Be ready and willing to face challenges as you strive for personal spiritual growth by controlling the five senses and five lower instincts as advised by Guru Amar Das in Raag Parbhati;

ਇੰਦ੍ਰੀ ਪੰਚ ਪੰਚੇ ਵਸਿ ਆਣੈ ਖਿਮਾ ਸੰਤੋਖੁ ਗੁਰਮਤਿ ਪਾਵੈ ॥

ਸੋ ਧਨੁ ਧਨੁ ਹਰਿ ਜਨੁ ਵਡ ਪੂਰਾ ਜੋ ਭੈ ਬੈਰਾਗਿ ਹਰਿ ਗੁਣ ਗਾਵੈ ॥ 

      Indree Panch Panchay Vas AaNai Khima Santokh Gurmat Pavai, So Dhan Dhan Har Jan Vadh Poora      

JoBhai Bairaag Har GouN Gaavai. 
                   

That person, who has controlled the five senses and the five vices, have realized forgiveness, patience, and contentment through Guru’s guidance. Blessed is the person who sings the praises of God and rids himself of the fear and becomes a perfect man with the detachment of heart.-----Guru Amar Das, Raag Parbhati, AGGS, Page, 1334-16