LOVE/ਭਾਉ

ABSTRACT

The word love dates back longer than many of us can remember. It's roots go back as far as Old English, when it was referred to as lufu, akin to Old High German luba (love) ,connected with Sanskrit lubh, 'to desire' and Latin lubere, 'to please’. It represents enduring emotional regard or strong feeling of personal affection, care, and desire for the well-being of another.

ਸਚੁ ਸਲਾਹਨਿ ਸੇ ਸਚੇ ਸਚਾ ਨਾਮੁ ਅਧਾਰੁ ॥

ਸਚੀ ਕਾਰ ਕਮਾਵਣੀ ਸਚੇ ਨਾਲਿ ਪਿਆਰੁ ॥

Sacẖ salāhan sė sacẖė sacẖā nām aḏẖār.Sachee Kaar Kamaavnee Sachay Naal Pi-aar.

Those who praise the True One are true; the True Name is their Support. One should act truthfully, in love with the True God.-----Guru Ram Das, Siri Raag, AGGS, Page, 34-6

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In Greek there are three words for love:  

1. First, 'agape' means the love of God for devotee, the love of devotee for God. It represents divine, unconditional, self-sacrificing, active, volitional, and thoughtful love, which encompasses the unselfish love of people for the others. This type of love (ਵਛਲ) is a primary characteristic of God's nature (ਬਿਰਦ) toward devotee.
2. The second Greek word for love is 'philia' which is friendship or brotherly love.
3.  The third Greek word for love is 'eros' meaning erotic love Lust/ਕਾਮਿ. It is also defined as deep, tender affection, romantic attraction, and a sense of oneness, intense desire, infatuation, sexual feelings, and emotional attachment.   An enthusiastic predilection can also be called love.  To love is to feel or express any of these.

There is difference between pleasure and happiness as there is between lust and love. Love is long lasting bliss or happiness creating bondage and attachment.  Lust and pleasure on the other hand are transitory.  Love as a universal and apparently inconsistent emotion seems almost incapable of definition.

The meaning of love offers and explains that love is the most intense, clear, logical, and meaningful of all the relations. Since a very long time ago, people have searched for the meaning of love. But even the great philosophers, with their profound definitions, could not fully touch its true essence. Love is like an eternal flame, once it is lit, it will continue to burn for all time. It involves three key elements:

1. Emotions --how we feel about each other.
2. Ethics --how good or bad we are for each other.
3. Joys --how much we satisfy or dissatisfy each other.

Love is patient and kind.  It is not jealous or boastful.  Nor is it arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way.  So it is not irritable or resentful.  It does not rejoice at a wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things; believes all things; hopes all things; endures all things.

Love and you shall be loved as all people smile in the same language. Everyone needs to be loved especially when they do not deserve it. Love is the only thing that can be divided without being diminished. Love is strengthened by working through conflicts together.

You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection as well as God Itself. God responds to devotional love by love to Its devotees.  This is Its innate nature, as expressed in the following hymns;

ਭਗਤਿ ਵਛਲੁ ਹਰਿ ਬਿਰਦੁ ਹੈ ਹਰਿ ਲਾਜ ਰਖਾਇਆ ॥

ਜਨੁ ਨਾਨਕੁ ਸਰਣਾਗਤੀ ਹਰਿ ਨਾਮਿ ਤਰਾਇਆ ॥੪॥੮॥੧੫॥

Bhagat Vachhal Har Birad Hai Har Laaj Rakhaa-i-aa. Jan Nānak sarṇāgaṯī har nām ṯarā▫i▫ā. 

It is God's innate nature to love Its devotees.  O, God, please preserve my honor. Servant Nanak has entered God’s Sanctuary, and has been saved by Its Name. -----Guru Ram Das, Raag Asa, AGGS, Page, 449-6                                                                                                        

ਭਗਤ ਵਛਲੁ ਤੇਰਾ ਬਿਰਦੁ ਰਖਾਇਆ ਜੀਉ ॥

ਪੂਰਨ ਸਭਨੀ ਜਾਈ ਜੀਉ ॥੧॥

Sarab rakẖ▫yā gur ḏa▫yālėh bẖai ḏūkẖ bināsnėh.Bhagat Vachhal Tayraa Birad Rakhaa-i-aa Jee-ou. Pūran sabẖnī jā▫ī jī▫o. 

You are the Lover of Your devotees; this is Your innate Nature. You are totally pervading all places. -----Guru Arjun Raag Gauri, AGGS, Page, 216-15

ਸਰਬ ਰਖ੍ਯ੍ਯਾ ਗੁਰ ਦਯਾਲਹ ਭੈ ਦੂਖ ਬਿਨਾਸਨਹ ॥

ਭਗਤਿ ਵਛਲ ਅਨਾਥ ਨਾਥੇ ਸਰਣਿ ਨਾਨਕ ਪੁਰਖ ਅਚੁਤਹ ॥

Sarab rakẖ▫yā gur ḏa▫yālėh bẖai ḏūkẖ bināsnėh.Bhagat Vachal Anaath Naathay Saran Nanak Purakh Achuteh.

The Merciful Guru has protected everything, and destroyed my fear and suffering. God is the Lover of Its devotees, the Master of the master less. Nanak has entered the sanctuary of the imperishable primal God.-----Guru Arjun, Sahs Kriti Slokes, AGGS, Page, 1358-18

There is difference:

• Between love and infatuation?
• Between love and attraction?
• Between love and sexual desire?
• Between love and friendship?
• Between sex and intimacy?
• Between a good relationship and one that is only pleasurable?

Love is of two kinds:

1.     Divine or spiritual love is without duality and is the basis of Sikh Faith. Sikh Gurus explained the spiritual love by exemplifying the God as Husband, though God does not have a gender, and individual conscience (soul) as bride indicating the purity of this devotional love coming from the depth of the heart/mind with complete inner cleanliness;

Guru Nanak ponders on it in Raag Maru:

ਕੋਈ ਆਖੈ ਭੂਤਨਾ ਕੋ ਕਹੈ ਬੇਤਾਲਾ ॥

ਕੋਈ ਆਖੈ ਆਦਮੀ ਨਾਨਕੁ ਵੇਚਾਰਾ ॥

ਭਇਆ ਦਿਵਾਨਾ ਸਾਹ ਕਾ ਨਾਨਕੁ ਬਉਰਾਨਾ ॥

ਹਉ ਹਰਿ ਬਿਨੁ ਅਵਰੁ ਨ ਜਾਨਾ ॥

ਤਉ ਦੇਵਾਨਾ ਜਾਣੀਐ ਜਾ ਭੈ ਦੇਵਾਨਾ ਹੋਇ ॥

ਏਕੀ ਸਾਹਿਬ ਬਾਹਰਾ ਦੂਜਾ ਅਵਰੁ ਨ ਜਾਣੈ ਕੋਇ ॥

ਤਉ ਦੇਵਾਨਾ ਜਾਣੀਐ ਜਾ ਏਕਾ ਕਾਰ ਕਮਾਇ ॥

ਹੁਕਮੁ ਪਛਾਣੈ ਖਸਮ ਕਾ ਦੂਜੀ ਅਵਰ ਸਿਆਣਪ ਕਾਇ ॥

ਤਉ ਦੇਵਾਨਾ ਜਾਣੀਐ ਜਾ ਸਾਹਿਬ ਧਰੇ ਪਿਆਰੁ ॥

ਮੰਦਾ ਜਾਣੈ ਆਪ ਕਉ ਅਵਰੁ ਭਲਾ ਸੰਸਾਰੁ ॥

Ko­ī ākẖai bẖūṯnā ko kahai bėṯālā. Ko­ī ākẖai āḏmī Nānak vėcẖārā. Bẖa­i­ā ḏivānā sāh kā Nānak ba­urānā. Ha­o har bin avar na jānā. Ŧa­o ḏėvānā jāṇī­ai jā bẖai ḏėvānā ho­ė. Ėkī sāhib bāhrā ḏūjā avar na jāṇai ko­ė. Ŧa­o ḏėvānā jāṇī­ai jā ėkā kār kamā­ė. Hukam pacẖẖāṇai kẖasam kā ḏūjī avar si­āṇap kā­ė. Ŧa­o ḏėvānā jāṇī­ai jā sāhib ḏẖarė pi­ār. Manḏā jāṇai āp ka­o avar bẖalā sansār.

Some call him a ghost; some say that he is a demon. Some call him a mere mortal; O, poor Nanak! Crazy Nanak has gone insane, after his god, the King. I know of none other than God. He alone is known to be insane, when he goes insane with the Fear of God. He recognizes none other than the One Master. He alone is known to be insane, if he works for the One God. He recognizes the Will, the Command of his Master, what other cleverness is there? He alone is known to be insane, when he falls in love with his God. He sees himself as bad and all the rest of the world as good.-----Guru Nanak, Raag Maru, AGGS, Page, 991

Guru Angad comments on it in Raag Asa:

ਏਹ ਕਿਨੇਹੀ ਆਸਕੀ ਦੂਜੈ ਲਗੈ ਜਾਇ ॥

ਨਾਨਕ ਆਸਕੁ ਕਾਂਢੀਐ ਸਦ ਹੀ ਰਹੈ ਸਮਾਇ ॥

ਚੰਗੈ ਚੰਗਾ ਕਰਿ ਮੰਨੇ ਮੰਦੈ ਮੰਦਾ ਹੋਇ ॥

ਆਸਕੁ ਏਹੁ ਨ ਆਖੀਐ ਜਿ ਲੇਖੈ ਵਰਤੈ ਸੋਇ ॥

Ayh Kinay-hee Aaskee Doojai Lagai Jaa-ey, Nanak Aasak Kandhee-aa Sad He Rahai Samaa-ey, Changai Changaa Kar Manay Mandai Mandaa Hoey, Aasak Ayh Na Aakhee-ai Je Laykhai Vartai Soey.

  

What sort of love is this, which clings to duality Nanak, he alone is called a lover, who remains forever immersed in absorption. But one who feels good only when good is done for him, and feels bad when things go badly. One is not called a lover who trades only for his own account.-----Guru Angad, Raag Asa, AGGS, Page, 474-4, 5

ਜੈਸੇ ਬਿਖੈ ਹੇਤ ਪਰ ਨਾਰੀ ॥

ਐਸੇ ਨਾਮੇ ਪ੍ਰੀਤਿ ਮੁਰਾਰੀ ॥

Jaise bikẖai heṯ par nārī. Aise nāme parīṯ murārī.

As the man driven by sex wants another man's wife, so does Naam Dev love the God?-----Nam Dev, Raag Gond, AGGS, Page, 874-4

2.  Physical love or bondage/ਬੰਧਨ (Lust/ਕਾਮਿ) -- of parents, siblings, spouse, children, friends, society, and even pets etc.

Love between soul and body:

ਕਾਇਆ ਹੰਸ ਕਿਆ ਪ੍ਰੀਤਿ ਹੈ ਜਿ ਪਇਆ ਹੀ ਛਡਿ ਜਾਇ ॥

ਏਸ ਨੋ ਕੂੜੁ ਬੋਲਿ ਕਿ ਖਵਾਲੀਐ ਜਿ ਚਲਦਿਆ ਨਾਲਿ ਨ ਜਾਇ ॥

Kaaeia Hans Kia Preet Hai Peiaa Hee Chadd Jaaey. Ės no kūṛ bol kė kẖavālī▫ai jė cẖalḏi▫ā nāl na jā▫e.

What love is this between the body and soul, which ends when the body falls? Why feed it by telling lies? When you leave, it does not go with you.-----Guru Amar Das, Raag Gauri, AGGS, Page, 510-19

Love between parents, siblings, and a relative is an attachment (ਬੰਧਨ) and is of no use in spiritual sense;

ਮਾਇਆ ਮੋਹੁ ਸਭੁ ਬਰਲੁ ਹੈ ਦੂਜੈ ਭਾਇ ਖੁਆਈ ਰਾਮ ॥

ਮਾਤਾ ਪਿਤਾ ਸਭੁ ਹੇਤੁ ਹੈ ਹੇਤੇ ਪਲਚਾਈ ਰਾਮ ॥

ਹੇਤੇ ਪਲਚਾਈ ਪੁਰਬਿ ਕਮਾਈ ਮੇਟਿ ਨ ਸਕੈ ਕੋਈ ॥

Mā▫i▫ā moh sabẖ baral hai ḏūjai bẖā▫e kẖu▫ā▫ī rām. Maataa Pitaa Sabh Hayt Hai Haytay Palchaa-ee Raam Heṯe palcẖā▫ī purab kamā▫ī met na sakai ko▫ī.

Emotional attachment to Maya is total madness; through the love of duality, one is ruined. Mother and father -- all are subject to this love and are entangled in this love. They are entangled in this love, on account of their past actions, which no one can erase.-----Guru Amar Das, Raag Vadhans, AGGS, Page, 571-11

ਮਨਮੁਖੁ ਮੋਹਿ ਵਿਆਪਿਆ ਬੈਰਾਗੁ ਉਦਾਸੀ ਨ ਹੋਇ ॥

ਸਤਗੁਰੁ ਸੇਵਿ ਮੋਹੁ ਪਰਜਲੈ ਘਰ ਹੀ ਮਾਹਿ ਉਦਾਸਾ ॥

Manmukh Moh Viaapiaa Bairag Udasee Na Hoey, Satgur Sayv Moh Parjaalai Ghar He Maa-eh Oudaasaa.

The self-willed person is engrossed in the love of worldly pleasures and falsehood.  He cannot cultivate love for the Truth. The Guru oriented rid themselves of worldly love of passion through the service of the Guru and enjoy the bliss of God’s love.-----Guru Amar Das, Siri Raag, AGGS, Page, 29-10-12

Conclusion:

In Sikh Thought we are looking for the Love of True Naam with deliberation, understanding, and its reflection in daily life, which can be relished. Love in return for love is natural, but love in return for hate is supernatural. All other kinds of love are false (ਕੂੜ). The Will of the God blesses the love of True Naam to the true Guru oriented devotee (ਗੁਰਮੁਖਿ).   When one is blessed with God’s Grace he is protected from the beginning to the end.

ਆਦਿ ਮਧਿ ਜੋ ਅੰਤਿ ਨਿਬਾਹੈ ॥

ਸੋ ਸਾਜਨੁ ਮੇਰਾ ਮਨੁ ਚਾਹੈ ॥

ਹਰਿ ਕੀ ਪ੍ਰੀਤਿ ਸਦਾ ਸੰਗਿ ਚਾਲੈ ॥

ਦਇਆਲ ਪੁਰਖ ਪੂਰਨ ਪ੍ਰਤਿਪਾਲੈ ॥

Aad Madh Jo Unt Nibahai, So Saajan Mayra Man Chaahai, Har Kee Preet Sadaa Sung Chaalai, Diyaal Purkh Pooran Pritpalai.

My heart seeks after such a friend, who shall stand by me in the beginning, middle, and at the end. The God’s love for us lasts forever. The compassionate, eternally supreme Master is our cherisher.-----Guru Arjun, Raag Gauri, AGGS, Page, 240

Bhagat Ravidas explains his devotional love for God in Raag Sorath:

ਜਉ ਤੁਮ ਗਿਰਿਵਰ ਤਉ ਹਮ ਮੋਰਾ ॥

ਜਉ ਤੁਮ ਚੰਦ ਤਉ ਹਮ ਭਏ ਹੈ ਚਕੋਰਾ ॥੧॥

ਮਾਧਵੇ ਤੁਮ ਨ ਤੋਰਹੁ ਤਉ ਹਮ ਨਹੀ ਤੋਰਹਿ ॥
ਤੁਮ ਸਿਉ ਤੋਰਿ ਕਵਨ ਸਿਉ ਜੋਰਹਿ ॥੧॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥
ਜਉ ਤੁਮ ਦੀਵਰਾ ਤਉ ਹਮ ਬਾਤੀ ॥
ਸਾਚੀ ਪ੍ਰੀਤਿ ਹਮ ਤੁਮ ਸਿਉ ਜੋਰੀ ॥
ਤੁਮ ਸਿਉ ਜੋਰਿ ਅਵਰ ਸੰਗਿ ਤੋਰੀ ॥੩॥
ਜਹ ਜਹ ਜਾਉ ਤਹਾ ਤੇਰੀ ਸੇਵਾ ॥
ਤੁਮ ਸੋ ਠਾਕੁਰੁ ਅਉਰੁ ਨ ਦੇਵਾ ॥੪॥
ਤੁਮਰੇ ਭਜਨ ਕਟਹਿ ਜਮ ਫਾਂਸਾ ॥
ਭਗਤਿ ਹੇਤ ਗਾਵੈ ਰਵਿਦਾਸਾ ॥੫॥੫॥

Ja▫o ṯum girivar ṯa▫o ham morā.Ja▫o ṯum cẖanḏ ṯa▫o ham bẖa▫e hai cẖakorā. Māḏẖve ṯum na ṯorahu ṯa▫o ham nahī ṯorėh.Ŧum si▫o ṯor kavan si▫o jorėh. rahā▫o.Ja▫o ṯum ḏīvrā ṯa▫o ham bāṯī.Ja▫o ṯum ṯirath ṯa▫o ham jāṯī. Sācẖī parīṯ ham ṯum si▫o jorī. Ŧum si▫o jor avar sang ṯorī. Jah jah jā▫o ṯahā ṯerī sevā.Ŧum so ṯẖākur a▫or na ḏevā. Ŧumre bẖajan katėh jam fāʼnsā.Bẖagaṯ heṯ gāvai Raviḏāsā. 

If You are the mountain, God, then I am the peacock. If You are the moon, then I am the partridge in love with You. O God, if You will not break with me, then I will not break with You. For, if I were to break with You, with whom would I then join? Pause. If You are the lamp, then I am the wick. If You are the sacred place of pilgrimage, then I am the pilgrim.  I am joined in true love with You, God. I am joined with You, and I have broken with all others. Wherever I go, there I serve You. There is no other God Master than You, O Divine God. Meditating, vibrating upon You, the noose of death is cut away. To attain devotional worship, Ravi Das sings to You, God. -----Ravidas, Raag Sorath, AGGS, Page, 658