ATTITUDE/ਦਸਤੂਰ/ਤੌਰ
ABSTRACT
Attitude is a complex mental state involving beliefs, feelings, values, and dispositions to act in certain ways. It affects the choices one makes. An attitude of gratitude creates happiness because it makes us feel full and complete. It is the realization that we have everything we need, at least in the present moment. Gratitude bears only positive feelings -- love, compassion, joy, and hope. It melts away fear, anger, and bitterness.
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Sikh philosophy revolves around “Naam/Name of God” and it revolves around controlling the mind. The mind needs God’s Grace for its control. God’s Grace is blessed to those individuals who become better humans by an active effort of subjugating the lower instincts. They do so by asking God in their prayers, to remove their character defects. They then develop the higher virtues.
· If the lower instincts dominate the higher ones, the result is a negative attitude.
· If the higher instincts dominate or kill the lower instincts, the result is Spiritual Progress with a positive attitude:
ਖਿਮਾ ਗਹੀ ਸਚੁ ਸੰਚਿਓ ਖਾਇਓ ਅੰਮ੍ਰਿਤੁ ਨਾਮ ॥
ਖਰੀ ਕ੍ਰਿਪਾ ਠਾਕੁਰ ਭਈ ਅਨਦ ਸੂਖ ਬਿਸ੍ਰਾਮ ॥
Khima Gahee Such Sancheo Khaaeyo Amrit Naam, Khari Kirpa Thakur Bhayee Anand Sookh Bisraam.
Adopting an attitude of forgiveness and garnering truth, one partakes in the Ambrosial Nectar of the Name. I have been blessed with the Guru’s Grace, and I gained complete peace and tranquility of mind. -----Guru Arjun, Gauri Bawan Akhree, AGGS, Page 261-8
I will be the first to admit that when I've failed in life, I've caused my own failures. My attitude hasn't always been a positive one. I spent that time in my life focusing on the negative rather than the positive, on the limitations rather than on the potentials, on what I was missing rather than on what I had. I can’t tell you when the change occurred, or where, or how. It's been a long process. I must keep working in order to keep it going. I have learned through reading, deliberating, reflecting in action, watching people, and asking questions. I had to learn that my world is what I make of it. I have been blessed with many gifts, but it's up to me whether I use them. If I do not, I'm pretty much wasting my time on this planet. I always saw this as something that was so easy to say, because people who had their acts together always said it.
It took me a while to realize that by focusing on the negative things in my life, I was perpetuating them through my fears. As I slowly began to shift my focus to the positive, I found that life became more and more positive as I detached myself away from it. Eventually, I became one of the people who say that it's your attitude more than anything else that determines how your life goes.
ਗੁਰ ਮਿਲਿ ਭਉ ਗੋਵਿੰਦ ਕਾ ਭੈ ਡਰੁ ਦੂਰਿ ਕਰਣਾ ॥
ਭੈ ਤੇ ਬੈਰਾਗੁ ਊਪਜੈ ਹਰਿ ਖੋਜਤ ਫਿਰਣਾ ॥
ਖੋਜਤ ਖੋਜਤ ਸਹਜੁ ਉਪਜਿਆ ਫਿਰਿ ਜਨਮਿ ਨ ਮਰਣਾ ॥
Gur mil bẖa▫o govinḏ kā bẖai dar ḏūr karṇā. Bhai Tay Bairaag Oupjai Har Khojat Firna, Khojat Khojat Sehaj Opje-aa Fir Janam Na Marna.
Meeting with the Guru, you shall know the Fear of God, and other fears shall be taken away. Through the reverence respect of God, the attitude of detachment wells up, and one sets out in search of God. The persons who have imbibed in the wonder and awe of God in the company of the Guru have cast away all the fears of death.-----Guru Arjun, Raag Maru, AGGS, Page 1102-8
When I started to change my attitude, I started to see that life doesn't determine who I am or how happy or unhappy I am--life doesn't care. The world is impersonal. But I care, and I prefer to be positive and happy. I'm much better to myself when I am, and I'm much better for others when I am. Our attitude tells the world what we expect in return. If it's a cheerful, expectant attitude, it says to everyone with whom we come in contact that we expect the best in our dealings with the world. You see, we tend to live up to our expectations. And others give to us, as far as their attitudes are concerned, what we expect. Our attitude is something we can control. We can establish our attitude each morning when we start our day. In fact, we do just that, whether or not we realize it. And the people in our family -- all the people in our world -- will reflect back to us the attitude we present to them. It is, then, our attitude toward life that determines life's attitude toward us. Everything we say or do will cause a corresponding effect. If we're cheerful, glad to be experiencing this miracle of life, others will reflect that good cheer back to us.
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. Attitudes are contagious. Are yours worth catching? If you don't get everything you want, think of the things you don't get that you don't want.
“I had the blues because I had no shoes until upon the street; I met a man who had no feet.” ~ Read somewhere.
If you don't think every day is a good day, just try missing one. It's so hard when I must, and so easy when I want to. ~Annie Gottlier.
Oh, my friend, it's not what they take away from you that counts. It's what you do with what you have left. ~Hubert Humphrey.
Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference. ~Winston Churchill.
Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day. Happiness is an attitude. We either make ourselves miserable, or happy and strong. The amount of work is the same. He who has so little knowledge of human nature as to seek happiness by changing anything but his own disposition will waste his life in fruitless efforts. If you don't like something change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it.
“Listen to your heart. Listen to your instincts. Listen to the inner voice. It is your true self. It will guide you to make the right choices.”
Braver is he who overcomes his desires than he who conquers his enemies; for the hardest victory is over self. Growing old is mandatory but growing up is optional.
All the while I'm working to change my attitude:
I let go of revenge.
I want to "get well," instead of "get even."
I will no longer wallow in resentment.
I still have wounds, but I no longer nurse them: instead,
I immerse them in helping others; and
I reverse them by changing my negatives into positives.
I am on my way to becoming Weller than well! -----Dr. Robert Schuller.
The only people who find what they are looking for in life are the fault finders. Think big thoughts but relish small pleasures. Every thought is a seed. If you plant crab apples, don't count on harvesting Golden Delicious. Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed. To be upset over what you don't have is to waste what you do have. The only disability in life is a bad attitude. My riches consist not in the extent of my possessions, but in the fewness of my wants. There is nothing so easy but that it becomes difficult when you do it reluctantly. Just because you're miserable doesn't mean you can't enjoy your life.
Conclusion:
With a positive attitude, we become the kind of people others enjoy being around by living life according to the steps contained in Sabd Guru. Attitude controls our destination and destiny in life. Metaphorically Guru Arjun describes the humble attitude of poor Bidar, son of a maid, who was accorded salvation by Krishna’s visit to his house.
ਬਿਦਰੁ ਉਧਾਰਿਓ ਦਾਸਤ ਭਾਇ ॥
ਰੇ ਮਨ ਤੂ ਭੀ ਹਰਿ ਧਿਆਇ ॥
Bidar Udhario Daasat Bhaaey, Ray Man To Bhi Har Dhiaa-ey.
Bidar was saved by his attitude of humility. O my mind! You should also contemplate; deliberate with a reflection on God. -----Guru Arjun Raag Basant, AGGS, Page 1192-6
